October arrived before I expected it.<\/p>\n
The morning we flew to New Mexico, Dennis complained about airport security before we even reached the airport.<\/p>\n
Sandra ignored him.<\/p>\n
Emma met us at the terminal wearing headphones around her neck and carrying a backpack large enough for a month despite staying only three nights.<\/p>\n
"You packed too much," I said.<\/p>\n
"You sound ancient."<\/p>\n
"I am ancient."<\/p>\n
"Then carry my bag."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n
Growth.<\/p>\n
On the plane, I had a window seat.<\/p>\n
I hadn't flown anywhere since Eleanor's funeral arrangements for her sister years earlier.<\/p>\n
Takeoff made my stomach drop.<\/p>\n
Dennis slept before we reached cruising altitude.<\/p>\n
Sandra read.<\/p>\n
Emma watched something on her laptop.<\/p>\n
I looked out the window.<\/p>\n
Clouds.<\/p>\n
Then land.<\/p>\n
I thought of Eleanor.<\/p>\n
Not painfully.<\/p>\n
Not exactly.<\/p>\n
She had wanted this.<\/p>\n
Santa Fe.<\/p>\n
Adobe walls.<\/p>\n
Dry air.<\/p>\n
Art galleries.<\/p>\n
She had once torn a magazine page out and stuck it on our refrigerator.<\/p>\n
Someday.<\/p>\n
That was what she'd written.<\/p>\n
Someday had arrived without her.<\/p>\n
For years I had treated that as proof it shouldn't happen.<\/p>\n
Now I wondered how many somedays vanished because people insisted on the original cast.<\/p>\n
We landed under a bright blue sky.<\/p>\n
The air felt thinner.<\/p>\n
Cleaner.<\/p>\n
Different enough that I understood immediately why Eleanor had wanted to come.<\/p>\n
Our hotel had a small courtyard with red tile and a fountain.<\/p>\n
Dennis inspected the room as if searching for structural flaws.<\/p>\n
Sandra told him to stop.<\/p>\n
Emma photographed everything.<\/p>\n
The first afternoon we walked farther than my knee appreciated.<\/p>\n
We ate too much.<\/p>\n
Saw paintings I didn't understand.<\/p>\n
Bought nothing.<\/p>\n
At sunset, the buildings turned warmer.<\/p>\n
I stood in a plaza listening to street musicians.<\/p>\n
No one needed me.<\/p>\n
That sensation was becoming less frightening.<\/p>\n
Dinner was noisy.<\/p>\n
Dennis ordered something too spicy and blamed the waiter.<\/p>\n
Sandra pointed out the menu had literally said hot.<\/p>\n
Emma laughed until she choked.<\/p>\n
I watched all three of them.<\/p>\n
This trip did not resemble the life Eleanor and I might have lived here.<\/p>\n
Good.<\/p>\n
It wasn't supposed to.<\/p>\n
That night Emma and I sat in the courtyard after Dennis and Sandra went upstairs.<\/p>\n
The temperature had dropped.<\/p>\n
She wrapped herself in a hotel blanket.<\/p>\n
"Grandpa."<\/p>\n
"Yes?"<\/p>\n
"Are you happy?"<\/p>\n
The question irritated me immediately.<\/p>\n
"That's broad."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"Ask something answerable."<\/p>\n
"Fine."<\/p>\n
She thought.<\/p>\n
"Are you happier than last year?"<\/p>\n
That I could answer.<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"Because Dad stopped taking your money?"<\/p>\n
I laughed.<\/p>\n
"Among other things."<\/p>\n
"Because you found the cabin?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"Because of therapy?"<\/p>\n
"Unfortunately."<\/p>\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n
"Because Grandma isn't in everything anymore?"<\/p>\n
The question landed differently.<\/p>\n
"What does that mean?"<\/p>\n
Emma looked toward the fountain.<\/p>\n
"Last year every decision was Grandma."<\/p>\n
"How?"<\/p>\n
"What Grandma would've wanted. What Grandma said. Her chair. Her jewelry. Her Christmas village. Her letters."<\/p>\n
She touched the pendant at her neck.<\/p>\n
She wore Eleanor's necklace often now.<\/p>\n
Not ceremonially.<\/p>\n
With sweaters.<\/p>\n
Jeans.<\/p>\n
Once with a sweatshirt.<\/p>\n
I liked that.<\/p>\n
"It's not bad," Emma continued. "I just wondered."<\/p>\n
"Wondered what?"<\/p>\n
"If thinking about her less makes you feel guilty."<\/p>\n
I became quiet.<\/p>\n
There it was.<\/p>\n
The question I had not known I was avoiding.<\/p>\n
Did I think about Eleanor less?<\/p>\n
Yes.<\/p>\n
Some days.<\/p>\n
At first, every room contained her.<\/p>\n
Every meal.<\/p>\n
Every song.<\/p>\n
Every decision.<\/p>\n
Now entire mornings passed before she entered my mind.<\/p>\n
Once, during woodworking class, I realized at lunch that I had not thought of her since waking.<\/p>\n
The discovery felt like betrayal.<\/p>\n
Then relief.<\/p>\n
Then guilt about the relief.<\/p>\n
"Sometimes."<\/p>\n
Emma nodded.<\/p>\n
"I thought so."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"Because when people say Grandma's name now, you don't get that face as much."<\/p>\n
"What face?"<\/p>\n
"The face where you leave without moving."<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
"That's disturbingly specific."<\/p>\n
She shrugged.<\/p>\n
"I had three years."<\/p>\n
I thought of Eleanor's letter.<\/p>\n
Don't make being loyal to me the same thing as being lonely.<\/p>\n
Maybe loyalty could become smaller too.<\/p>\n
Not weaker.<\/p>\n
Less consuming.<\/p>\n
"Do you think about her every day?" I asked.<\/p>\n
Emma shook her head.<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Does that bother you?"<\/p>\n
"Sometimes."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"I'm scared I'll forget."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Her voice."<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
That fear had visited me too.<\/p>\n
"Do you?"<\/p>\n
"Some parts."<\/p>\n
Her eyes filled.<\/p>\n
"That's awful."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"It is."<\/p>\n
"Memory isn't a recording."<\/p>\n
"Then what is it?"<\/p>\n
I considered.<\/p>\n
"Pieces."<\/p>\n
"That sounds worse."<\/p>\n
"Maybe. But pieces can still be enough."<\/p>\n
She touched the necklace.<\/p>\n
"I remember her hands."<\/p>\n
"Good."<\/p>\n
"And how she smelled."<\/p>\n
"She used too much perfume."<\/p>\n
Emma smiled.<\/p>\n
"And the way she said my name when I was in trouble."<\/p>\n
I laughed.<\/p>\n
"That survived?"<\/p>\n
"Very clearly."<\/p>\n
"What don't you remember?"<\/p>\n
Emma thought.<\/p>\n
"Ordinary stuff."<\/p>\n
"Like?"<\/p>\n
"What she did when nobody was talking."<\/p>\n
That answer hurt.<\/p>\n
Because ordinary memory was exactly what disappeared first.<\/p>\n
The person walking from one room to another.<\/p>\n
Opening a drawer.<\/p>\n
Looking for keys.<\/p>\n
Sitting quietly.<\/p>\n
Death preserved highlights and erased filler.<\/p>\n
But filler had been most of marriage.<\/p>\n
"Want to know something ordinary?"<\/p>\n
Emma nodded.<\/p>\n
"Your grandmother hummed while reading."<\/p>\n
"Seriously?"<\/p>\n
"Constantly."<\/p>\n
"What song?"<\/p>\n
"No song."<\/p>\n
"Then how?"<\/p>\n
"Just noise."<\/p>\n
Emma laughed.<\/p>\n
"That's weird."<\/p>\n
"Very."<\/p>\n
"Anything else?"<\/p>\n
"She checked locks twice."<\/p>\n
"So do you."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"She left half-finished cups of tea everywhere."<\/p>\n
"I remember that."<\/p>\n
"She hated putting gas in the car."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"No idea."<\/p>\n
Emma smiled.<\/p>\n
Then said, "Tell me more."<\/p>\n
So I did.<\/p>\n
Not stories with lessons.<\/p>\n
Nothing dramatic.<\/p>\n
Eleanor hated folding fitted sheets.<\/p>\n
She always forgot where she left scissors.<\/p>\n
She liked burnt toast.<\/p>\n
She claimed not to snore.<\/p>\n
She cried at animal-rescue commercials but not sad movies.<\/p>\n
She sometimes read the final page of a mystery first.<\/p>\n
Emma was horrified by that.<\/p>\n
"That's cheating."<\/p>\n
"I told her."<\/p>\n
"Did she care?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Classic Grandma."<\/p>\n
We sat until the courtyard emptied.<\/p>\n
Before going upstairs, Emma said, "I think that's better."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Remembering weird little stuff."<\/p>\n
"Better than what?"<\/p>\n
"Making her perfect."<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
That was exactly what had happened after Eleanor died.<\/p>\n
We polished her.<\/p>\n
Preston used idealized Eleanor to justify money.<\/p>\n
Marissa used her to justify family trips.<\/p>\n
I used her to justify staying frozen.<\/p>\n
Perfection made the dead easier to weaponize.<\/p>\n
Ordinary memory made them human again.<\/p>\n
The next morning, we visited a museum Eleanor had wanted to see.<\/p>\n
I expected sadness.<\/p>\n
Instead I kept thinking how loudly she would have complained about the admission price.<\/p>\n
I laughed beside one exhibit.<\/p>\n
Sandra looked at me.<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Ellie would've said twenty-two dollars was robbery."<\/p>\n
Sandra smiled.<\/p>\n
"She would've paid anyway."<\/p>\n
"Then talked about it for a week."<\/p>\n
Dennis said, "Month."<\/p>\n
We laughed.<\/p>\n
No ache afterward.<\/p>\n
Just warmth.<\/p>\n
That afternoon Emma flew back for classes.<\/p>\n
At the airport, she hugged me.<\/p>\n
"Thanks for inviting me."<\/p>\n
"Thanks for coming."<\/p>\n
"Take pictures."<\/p>\n
"I hate pictures."<\/p>\n
"Exactly why."<\/p>\n
She left.<\/p>\n
The remaining days with Dennis and Sandra were different.<\/p>\n
Quieter.<\/p>\n
We drove north.<\/p>\n
Saw mountains.<\/p>\n
Ate badly in one town and excellently in another.<\/p>\n
Dennis found a lake despite the desert and insisted on fishing for two hours.<\/p>\n
He caught nothing.<\/p>\n
I considered it justice.<\/p>\n
On our last night, Sandra went upstairs early.<\/p>\n
Dennis and I sat outside.<\/p>\n
He had been drinking one beer for nearly an hour.<\/p>\n
"Ray."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"You dating?"<\/p>\n
I almost spit my coffee.<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Just asking."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"Because you're leaving the house now."<\/p>\n
"That is not dating."<\/p>\n
"You met that fisherman."<\/p>\n
"Martin?"<\/p>\n
"You remember his name."<\/p>\n
"He is a seventy-two-year-old man."<\/p>\n
Dennis frowned.<\/p>\n
"I wasn't suggesting Martin."<\/p>\n
I laughed so hard the couple at the next table looked over.<\/p>\n
"Shut up."<\/p>\n
"I'm serious."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"Ellie told me you'd never date again."<\/p>\n
I stopped laughing.<\/p>\n
"She did?"<\/p>\n
"Once."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"Before she died."<\/p>\n
"What exactly?"<\/p>\n
Dennis looked uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
"She said you'd act like dating was cheating."<\/p>\n
That sounded accurate.<\/p>\n
"What did you say?"<\/p>\n
"That you'd probably become unbearable and no woman would want you."<\/p>\n
"Supportive."<\/p>\n
"She laughed."<\/p>\n
I looked toward the dark courtyard.<\/p>\n
"Did she want me to?"<\/p>\n
"Date?"<\/p>\n
"Eventually."<\/p>\n
"She wanted you to do whatever kept you from turning into a ghost."<\/p>\n
That phrase felt like Eleanor.<\/p>\n
"Did she name anyone?"<\/p>\n
Dennis laughed.<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Good."<\/p>\n
"Why? Someone in mind?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Martin?"<\/p>\n
"Go to bed."<\/p>\n
He laughed for several minutes.<\/p>\n
I went upstairs annoyed.<\/p>\n
Not because dating interested me.<\/p>\n
Because the question existed.<\/p>\n
Another future choice.<\/p>\n
Another piece of life I had treated as permanently closed.<\/p>\n
I did not reopen it that night.<\/p>\n
I simply stopped guarding the door.<\/p>\n
Back in Cleveland, autumn deepened.<\/p>\n
Preston's repayments continued.<\/p>\n
Marissa's too.<\/p>\n
Emma settled into college.<\/p>\n
Caleb's sentencing approached.<\/p>\n
Kessler began his license suspension.<\/p>\n
Thomas recovered fully and complained about Janet monitoring his driving.<\/p>\n
The family became boring.<\/p>\n
I loved it.<\/p>\n
Then Maya called.<\/p>\n
"Caleb wants to speak to Preston before sentencing."<\/p>\n
"Why are you telling me?"<\/p>\n
"Preston asked whether you thought he should."<\/p>\n
I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n
"Why is he asking me?"<\/p>\n
"Because he values your opinion."<\/p>\n
"That's suspicious."<\/p>\n
Maya laughed.<\/p>\n
"What do you think?"<\/p>\n
I considered.<\/p>\n
"Does his therapist know?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"His attorney?"<\/p>\n
"Me."<\/p>\n
"Right."<\/p>\n
"Do you think he should meet Caleb?"<\/p>\n
"No idea."<\/p>\n
"Useful."<\/p>\n
"Tell Preston the decision is his."<\/p>\n
"I already did."<\/p>\n
"Then why call me?"<\/p>\n
"Because he's afraid he's still outsourcing moral decisions."<\/p>\n
That stopped me.<\/p>\n
He was aware of it.<\/p>\n
Good.<\/p>\n
"What did you tell him?"<\/p>\n
"That seeking advice isn't the same as surrendering choice."<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
"I like you less every month."<\/p>\n
"Mutual."<\/p>\n
Later Preston called.<\/p>\n
"I think I'm going."<\/p>\n
"To see Caleb."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"I want to ask why."<\/p>\n
"That answer may disappoint you."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"Go anyway if you want."<\/p>\n
"You're not worried?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"About?"<\/p>\n
"You expecting his explanation to make you feel better."<\/p>\n
Preston became quiet.<\/p>\n
"That's fair."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"Tomorrow."<\/p>\n
"Then tomorrow."<\/p>\n
He hesitated.<\/p>\n
"Dad."<\/p>\n
"Yes?"<\/p>\n
"Would you come?"<\/p>\n
Every instinct said yes.<\/p>\n
Protect.<\/p>\n
Witness.<\/p>\n
Support.<\/p>\n
Then I stopped.<\/p>\n
"Do you want me because you're scared or because you think I should hear it?"<\/p>\n
He took a long time.<\/p>\n
"Because I'm scared."<\/p>\n
I respected that answer.<\/p>\n
"Then yes."<\/p>\n
The meeting took place in a courthouse conference room.<\/p>\n
Caleb entered wearing county-issued clothing.<\/p>\n
Thinner than I remembered.<\/p>\n
No beard.<\/p>\n
He looked at Preston first.<\/p>\n
Then me.<\/p>\n
"Mr. Hale."<\/p>\n
I almost told him not to call me that.<\/p>\n
Old habit.<\/p>\n
I didn't.<\/p>\n
Preston sat across from him.<\/p>\n
Maya remained near the door.<\/p>\n
For several seconds nobody spoke.<\/p>\n
Then Preston asked the question.<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
Caleb looked down.<\/p>\n
"I needed money."<\/p>\n
Preston laughed once.<\/p>\n
Not kindly.<\/p>\n
"That's it?"<\/p>\n
"At first."<\/p>\n
"For what?"<\/p>\n
"Gambling."<\/p>\n
The word changed the room.<\/p>\n
"How much?"<\/p>\n
"A lot."<\/p>\n
"Did you steal because you owed people?"<\/p>\n
"Sometimes."<\/p>\n
"Why alter my reports?"<\/p>\n
"To hide missing cash."<\/p>\n
"The guarantee?"<\/p>\n
Caleb closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
"Shaw was pushing. If he started digging, he'd find things."<\/p>\n
"So you made him think I had more backing."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"You used my father."<\/p>\n
Caleb looked at me.<\/p>\n
"I used what you already told people."<\/p>\n
Preston flinched.<\/p>\n
There it was.<\/p>\n
Not absolution.<\/p>\n
Shared machinery.<\/p>\n
"You knew Dad never agreed."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"And you did it anyway."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
Preston sat back.<\/p>\n
I watched recognition move through him.<\/p>\n
Same words.<\/p>\n
Same structure.<\/p>\n
Different seat.<\/p>\n
He asked, "Did you plan to repay it?"<\/p>\n
Caleb laughed bitterly.<\/p>\n
"Of course."<\/p>\n
Preston's face changed.<\/p>\n
Because there it was.<\/p>\n
The sentence everybody used.<\/p>\n
Borrow.<\/p>\n
Fix it.<\/p>\n
Replace it.<\/p>\n
Before anyone knows.<\/p>\n
"What happened?" Preston asked.<\/p>\n
Caleb stared at the table.<\/p>\n
"It got bigger."<\/p>\n
Preston nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
"Yeah."<\/p>\n
The conversation lasted forty minutes.<\/p>\n
Caleb apologized.<\/p>\n
Preston did not accept or reject it.<\/p>\n
He asked questions.<\/p>\n
Caleb answered some.<\/p>\n
Not all.<\/p>\n
At the end, Preston stood.<\/p>\n
"I hope you get help."<\/p>\n
Caleb looked surprised.<\/p>\n
"For gambling?"<\/p>\n
"For whatever makes you believe the next lie fixes the last one."<\/p>\n
Preston walked out.<\/p>\n
In the hallway, he leaned against the wall.<\/p>\n
"You okay?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Good."<\/p>\n
He laughed despite himself.<\/p>\n
"I knew you'd say that."<\/p>\n
"What did you expect?"<\/p>\n
"Anger."<\/p>\n
"Got some?"<\/p>\n
"A lot."<\/p>\n
"Anything else?"<\/p>\n
He thought.<\/p>\n
"Pity."<\/p>\n
"That's inconvenient."<\/p>\n
"Very."<\/p>\n
"And?"<\/p>\n
He looked toward the closed conference-room door.<\/p>\n
"I don't feel better."<\/p>\n
"I warned you."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n
Then smiled faintly.<\/p>\n
"But I understand something."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"He wasn't me."<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
"And I'm not him."<\/p>\n
Simple.<\/p>\n
Important.<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
"We did similar things."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"But understanding him doesn't mean I have to make our stories identical."<\/p>\n
"Correct."<\/p>\n
"I think I've been doing that with Mom too."<\/p>\n
"What do you mean?"<\/p>\n
"Using her mistakes to make mine feel less unique."<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
Eleanor took from Emma's account once.<\/p>\n
Preston could use that as evidence his behavior was hereditary.<\/p>\n
Marissa opened credit.<\/p>\n
He could call them both desperate.<\/p>\n
Caleb stole.<\/p>\n
He could collapse all wrongdoing into one category.<\/p>\n
But accountability required specificity.<\/p>\n
"Your story belongs to you."<\/p>\n
"Yeah."<\/p>\n
He breathed out.<\/p>\n
"I think I'm finally starting to want that."<\/p>\n
We left the courthouse.<\/p>\n
Outside, cold wind came off the lake.<\/p>\n
Winter approaching again.<\/p>\n
One year since Telluride was coming.<\/p>\n
I realized it suddenly.<\/p>\n
Christmas.<\/p>\n
The first anniversary of the decision that had exposed everything.<\/p>\n
I wondered what we would do.<\/p>\n
Then my phone buzzed.<\/p>\n
Family group message.<\/p>\n
Emma.<\/p>\n
Christmas this year. Nobody plans anything without everybody agreeing.<\/p>\n
Then another:<\/p>\n
And Grandpa does NOT automatically pay.<\/p>\n
I looked at Preston.<\/p>\n
His phone buzzed too.<\/p>\n
He read the message.<\/p>\n
Then laughed.<\/p>\n
"Sounds like a threat."<\/p>\n
"It is."<\/p>\n
Another message appeared.<\/p>\n
Marissa:<\/p>\n
Agreed.<\/p>\n
Then Dennis:<\/p>\n
Who is cooking?<\/p>\n
Sandra:<\/p>\n
Not Raymond.<\/p>\n
I stared at the screen.<\/p>\n
Preston smiled.<\/p>\n
"Well?"<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"What do you want for Christmas?"<\/p>\n
I thought of last year.<\/p>\n
The card charge.<\/p>\n
The motel.<\/p>\n
The silence.<\/p>\n
Then this year.<\/p>\n
Choice.<\/p>\n
Ordinary dinner.<\/p>\n
Maybe chaos.<\/p>\n
"I don't know yet."<\/p>\n
Preston nodded.<\/p>\n
"Good answer."<\/p>\n
October arrived before I expected it. The morning we flew to New Mexico, Dennis complained about airport security before we even reached the airport. Sandra ignored him. Emma met us … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feel-one-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15523"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15569,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15523\/revisions\/15569"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/15492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}