For several seconds, I thought I had misheard him.<\/p>\n
The desk lamp hummed faintly beside us.<\/p>\n
\u201cPregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded.<\/p>\n
I stared at the consent form.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would have known.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were under a lot of stress.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
Then a memory arrived with such force that I gripped the desk.<\/p>\n
My period had been late.<\/p>\n
I had noticed.<\/p>\n
I had blamed stress.<\/p>\n
There had been nausea one morning at school. I blamed cafeteria coffee.<\/p>\n
My breasts had been tender.<\/p>\n
I ignored it.<\/p>\n
I looked at Michael.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow far?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe original report said eight weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room seemed to tilt.<\/p>\n
Eight weeks.<\/p>\n
I calculated backward automatically.<\/p>\n
Michael and I had already stopped sleeping together before the overdose.<\/p>\n
But not long enough.<\/p>\n
Or had we?<\/p>\n
The dates blurred.<\/p>\n
Then I remembered Ethan.<\/p>\n
Michael saw the answer on my face.<\/p>\n
His eyes dropped.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas it yours?\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cMichael.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed his forehead.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
The word landed differently from everything else.<\/p>\n
Not because I had expected another answer.<\/p>\n
Because suddenly the pregnancy was real.<\/p>\n
A child had existed inside me.<\/p>\n
A child I had never known about.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael moved toward the chair but did not sit.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were unconscious when the blood work came back. There were complications.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat complications?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey were worried about internal bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey took you into surgery.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo find the source.\u201d<\/p>\n
I held up the consent form.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou authorized it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey said they couldn\u2019t wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid they ask me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were unconscious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I woke up?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I woke up, did anyone tell me I had been pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not asking what you thought.\u201d<\/p>\n
My voice cracked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m asking why no one told me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cDr. Harris believed it would be safer to wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
The name pulled at a distant memory.<\/p>\n
\u201cHarris.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour physician.\u201d<\/p>\n
I remembered him vaguely. Gray hair. Heavy glasses. A slow voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did he do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe performed the procedure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat procedure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExploratory surgery.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what this says. What else?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael did not answer.<\/p>\n
I opened the folder again.<\/p>\n
Several pages contained medical terminology I did not understand.<\/p>\n
One line mentioned uterine tissue.<\/p>\n
Another referenced pregnancy.<\/p>\n
Some page numbers were missing.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are the rest?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey disappeared.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed once, without humor.<\/p>\n
\u201cMedical records don\u2019t disappear from a folder by themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you remove them?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid Dr. Harris?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
I slammed the folder onto the desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have spent eighteen years refusing to speak to me, and now every answer is I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m telling you what I can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you can?\u201d<\/p>\n
The phrase stopped me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho decides what you can tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s face tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSusan\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas the pregnancy terminated?\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at the floor.<\/p>\n
I understood his silence as an answer.<\/p>\n
My stomach clenched.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou let them end my pregnancy while I was unconscious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat was it like?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were dying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI survived.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause they treated you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou signed for them to operate on me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd afterward you told me nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stepped away from him.<\/p>\n
The betrayal was difficult to hold because it existed beside my own.<\/p>\n
I had cheated on Michael.<\/p>\n
That remained true.<\/p>\n
I had lied to him.<\/p>\n
That remained true.<\/p>\n
The pregnancy might have resulted from that betrayal.<\/p>\n
That remained possible.<\/p>\n
But none of those facts explained why eighteen years of my medical history had been hidden from me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas the baby Ethan\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s head lifted sharply.<\/p>\n
\u201cEthan?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy affair.\u201d<\/p>\n
A strange expression crossed his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know his name.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know the name you knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went quiet.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is that supposed to mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael sat down heavily.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hoped we would never have this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t get to hope anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pressed both hands against his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you were in the hospital, I wanted to hate you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought hatred would make everything simple. You had betrayed me. I could leave. I could take Jake and build another life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause before you were discharged, Dr. Harris asked to speak with me privately.\u201d<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe told me there were inconsistencies in your records.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t explain everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat seems to be a habit among the men who were making decisions about my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael flinched.<\/p>\n
I did not apologize.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe asked about the man you were seeing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEthan.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s gaze sharpened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe asked whether I had met him. Whether I knew his family. Whether I knew where he came from.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would my doctor care?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI asked the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe told me your lover wasn\u2019t who he claimed to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought so too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat was he, then?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael rose and crossed to the desk.<\/p>\n
He opened a drawer I had not noticed.<\/p>\n
Inside were photographs.<\/p>\n
He removed one.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook.\u201d<\/p>\n
I took it.<\/p>\n
The picture showed a parking lot near the school.<\/p>\n
I recognized myself immediately.<\/p>\n
Ethan stood beside me.<\/p>\n
We were not touching.<\/p>\n
The photograph appeared to have been taken from a distance.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho took this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBefore your overdose.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned it over.<\/p>\n
March 3, 2008.<\/p>\n
Eleven days before the date on the hospital record.<\/p>\n
I looked at the photograph again.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s someone behind us.\u201d<\/p>\n
A man stood partly obscured by a parked car.<\/p>\n
Older.<\/p>\n
Glasses.<\/p>\n
My pulse quickened.<\/p>\n
\u201cDr. Harris.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy was my doctor watching me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know if he was watching you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe happened to be standing behind a car while someone secretly photographed me with Ethan?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael did not respond.<\/p>\n
I looked at the picture more closely.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did Harris tell you about Ethan?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat Ethan wasn\u2019t his real name.\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou expect me to believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t believe it either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what was his name?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t learn that until later.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat was it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel what?\u201d<\/p>\n
His silence returned.<\/p>\n
I threw the photograph onto the desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m done with this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSusan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Either tell me the truth or get out of the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked toward the hallway as though afraid someone might be standing there.<\/p>\n
Then he lowered his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis wasn\u2019t only about the affair.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what was it about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour father.\u201d<\/p>\n
That stopped me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy father had been dead for years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe had nothing to do with Ethan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
My father had been a private man, meticulous about money and almost pathologically cautious about business.<\/p>\n
When he died, I inherited little beyond personal belongings. I had never resented that. He had spent years telling me he intended to enjoy what he earned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat could my father possibly have to do with this?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael opened the drawer again.<\/p>\n
He removed an envelope.<\/p>\n
My name was written across the front.<\/p>\n
Susan.<\/p>\n
I knew the handwriting.<\/p>\n
My father\u2019s.<\/p>\n
My knees weakened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you get that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter you were hospitalized.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve had a letter from my dead father for eighteen years?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you give it to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael looked at me with an expression I had never seen before.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause when I tried to find out what it meant, someone contacted me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did they say?\u201d<\/p>\n
He swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey knew where Jake lived at college.\u201d<\/p>\n
Every muscle in my body tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey knew his dorm. His schedule. They knew what car he drove.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stepped toward Michael.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did they want?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor me to stop asking questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor eighteen years?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
My anger collided with something colder.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that why you stayed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPartly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that why you slept in another room?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael rubbed his wedding ring.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought distance would make us less vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat makes no sense.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You\u2019re leaving something out.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
I could see it.<\/p>\n
There was another answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael said nothing.<\/p>\n
I reached for the envelope.<\/p>\n
He caught my wrist.<\/p>\n
It was the first time he had deliberately touched me in eighteen years.<\/p>\n
Both of us froze.<\/p>\n
His hand released me immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t open it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at the place where his fingers had been.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause once you read it, you can\u2019t pretend none of this exists.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI stopped pretending the moment my doctor showed me that scar.\u201d<\/p>\n
I took the envelope.<\/p>\n
It had never been opened.<\/p>\n
\u201cMichael?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid my father give this to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen who did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDr. Harris.\u201d<\/p>\n
I tore the envelope open.<\/p>\n
Inside was one sheet of paper.<\/p>\n
My father\u2019s handwriting covered both sides.<\/p>\n
The first line made my breath catch.<\/p>\n
Susan, if this letter reaches you, then the safeguards I put in place have failed.<\/p>\n
I looked at Michael.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat safeguards?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep reading.\u201d<\/p>\n
I did.<\/p>\n
My father wrote about assets I knew nothing about.<\/p>\n
A trust.<\/p>\n
People he had once worked with.<\/p>\n
A disagreement he feared had become dangerous.<\/p>\n
Then came a sentence about Dr. Harris.<\/p>\n
Do not assume Harris is your enemy simply because he has lied to you.<\/p>\n
I stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s comforting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael did not smile.<\/p>\n
I continued.<\/p>\n
Near the bottom, my father had written something stranger.<\/p>\n
The account is not in Susan\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
The child is the key.<\/p>\n
My hands tightened around the paper.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat child?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael looked away.<\/p>\n
I read the next line.<\/p>\n
If Susan becomes pregnant, protect the child before protecting the money.<\/p>\n
I could hear my pulse.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy father knew I would become pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why write that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was describing the trust conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat conditions?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s face had gone pale.<\/p>\n
I returned to the letter.<\/p>\n
The last paragraph was harder to read because my father\u2019s handwriting became uneven.<\/p>\n
Harris knows why they need an heir. Trust him only as long as he protects Susan. If Daniel reaches her first, everything changes.<\/p>\n
Daniel.<\/p>\n
The name Michael had just given me.<\/p>\n
I stared at it.<\/p>\n
My father had written the name years before I met the man I knew as Ethan.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael said nothing.<\/p>\n
I read the sentence again.<\/p>\n
Then I reached the final lines.<\/p>\n
If Susan learns about the child, tell her only when you are certain the people watching her can no longer reach Jake.<\/p>\n
My vision blurred.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat child?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s eyes filled with tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cMichael.\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned away.<\/p>\n
I grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat child was my father talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
He whispered, \u201cYours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pregnancy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you said they ended it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said that was what we were told.\u201d<\/p>\n
My fingers loosened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael looked at the scattered medical records.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pregnancy didn\u2019t end in that operating room, Susan.\u201d<\/p>\n
I could barely hear myself.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen where did it end?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI spent eighteen years trying to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n
A sickening thought formed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf my pregnancy continued, I would remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe dates in your medical records were changed.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
Michael reached into the drawer and removed one last document.<\/p>\n
It was a birth record.<\/p>\n
A girl.<\/p>\n
Born October 29, 2008.<\/p>\n
Mother: unknown.<\/p>\n
Father: unknown.<\/p>\n
The child\u2019s name was Lily Harris.<\/p>\n
I read it twice.<\/p>\n
Then a third time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho is she?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s answer came quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe girl Dr. Harris raised.\u201d<\/p>\n
For several seconds, I thought I had misheard him. The desk lamp hummed faintly beside us. \u201cPregnant?\u201d Michael nodded. I stared at the consent form. \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cYou were.\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cYou … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9489,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feel-one-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9492"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9535,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9492\/revisions\/9535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelonestory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}